So much has happened since I was in the movies last. The CEO of a big healthcare conglomerate was shot. I shaved my beard. They are bringing Snack Wraps back to McDonald's. So it's been a pretty damn interesting week.
I don't normally go to Regal on Friday nights, although it is definitely my favorite night to go. I do have Regal Unlimited, but I still end up seeing them on Tuesdays most of the time, as Tiff likes to go. But tonight she did not want to go, as she was having her lady friends over for pie. Well good lord, this is something of a repeat as last week. I guess some things in this world change, and then some things stay the same. Last week it was tart, this week it was pie... So it goes. Well I still feel the same way about it; I'm gonna stick around for a slice but then I'm out of there... And then I can take my evening walk in the cold LES, one of my favorite winter activities, only second to seeing a movie... Which is to come, surely...
I planned to see either the new Kyle Mooney flick, Y2K, or Werewolves (not to be confused with Wolfman, which will be coming out next month). They both look good enough. I asked Tiff which one she would rather see, and she picked Y2K, so we will probably see that next week. I noticed that today they added a movie to the showtimes however that wasn't on there yesterday. The Order. What's that? A true crime style neo naxi terror plot bank heist movie with Jude Law and the guy who just cut it off with Sabrina Carpenter (Yeah, more crazy news in the western hemisphere...)??? OK, I'll go try and enjoy that solo-mode.
I had a slice of pie with Tiff and her four friends, and listened to them discuss crypto, which I don't have. I just have this movie review blog and my girlfriend, and I'm pretty happy with that. Oh, and pie! It was an apple pie with apples from this place Hidden Gem Orchard in CT. Some of the apples were this new apple invention, like a brand new apple. The inside of them are red instead of the original other color that we are so used to with apples. We had it with cheese, which I've heard about from time to time but never indulged. It was... great.
The showtime was for 7:40, so I decided to leave at 7:30. It takes 12-15 minutes to walk to Regal, and then an extra 3-5 minutes for the entrance and escalator business, taking a piss, getting a seltzer on the way (got a large bottle of Canada Dry Plain Flavor OTW, BTW). I sat down at 7:50, and at 7:52, the trailers began. So, yes, Regal shows trailers 10-12 minutes after the showtime they indicate on their app. So don't get so worried about getting there on time, especially considering you're reserving the seats as well. It isn't like it used to be in the theaters... Oh, I digress... To the movie...
THE ORDER is a crime action thriller kind of thing based on a real-life Aryan-White-Nazi-Type thing in the early 80's. We follow the British legend Jude Law, a non-British FBI agent, sent to somewhere in the Pacific Northwest to investigate a string of robberies and exploding bombs, which seem to be linked tpp this Nazi type group I speak of. He joins forces with the police force and they try stopping these dickheads, but sometimes we have to watch scenes where Jude Law creates exposition about his wife and kids who we never meet, things like that. It's kind of like Point Break but with the assholes from Green Room. But it's missing a lot of the juice that can be found in those movies. The Nazi theme is really ripe for a gritty underbelly type of thing, and the imagery is present in this film, but as a whole it lacks the grit, which is hard to pinpoint in a cinematic definition. Also note that I compare it to Point Break, which has a different type of grit, one that seems more present in the pacing. This movie movies kind of slow, and what I'm also trying to say is that there is far less action and violence that I would care to see in a White Supremacist bank robbery cult movie. A lot of the time I was sitting there thinking, "God, remember Green Room..." Really sickening shit! Some of it also reminded me of Out Of The Furnace, one of my favorite movies of this type, even down to the deer-hunting allegories so prominently in that film-it's here too just done worse. That's what happens in films like this that are just... designed to be so run of the mill. Drone shots of rural Northern California/Washington, FBI guy who's taking ambiguous pain pills, gruff for mysterious (yet kind of overexplained) reasons, the rookie local cop who's learning how to act like FBI guy a little too fast (played by Sabrina Carpenter's ex, Tye Sheridan). Nicholas Hoult (Nux in Mad Max Fury Road (and also not American; the only Americans they got in this thing play MF nazis!)) plays Bob, the leader of the Aryan Brotherhood gang, and he's one of the best parts of the film, for what he's given. He looks like a young A.I. generated Tom Cruise. Like I said, though, for what he's given... The Nazi guys we get a good amount of storytelling about, and we see their hideaways and churches and everything else but they don't really bring a menacing presence to the screen, even when they're murdering Jewish radio hosts (played by Marc Maron, from the What The Fuck podcast)(again, true story). They just look kind of like extras from The Bikeriders or something. The thing with Bikeriders though it did feel like they made a huge effort, if nothing else, to make the setting, wardrobe etc. look authentic to it's time, and with a movie like that, that's a bare minimum. Here, some of the characters feel like they're from the Wire or something. But whatever. It's fine. It's perfectly fine as a crime thriller with some action and a handful of memorable things, but it will make you think of films that you like more anyways. I was sitting there thinking that I want to watch something with better interpersonal cop subplots, like True Detective season 1. This thing wants us to be aware that Jude Law's character (who's name escapes me, if that indicates anything) is conflicted, but doesn't really let us in on his life enough, minus trite details, like sitting in a smokey bar, cussing a lot, stuff like that. It reminds me of Norm Macdonald, he said, "You know how all the superheros now are conflicted? Yeah, I don't like that." And none of this to say that Jude Law isn't good here, which he is, with what he has, but it really isn't enough for me to get excited to tell people to see this movie. And the thing is, I hadn't even heard about it, until this evening. Never saw a trailer for it, nothing. I'm a little dissapointed because with that kind of thing I'm always hoping to find some kind of little gem of an action movie, but I didn't find it here. If you're gonna watch anything in close in this wheelhouse, it should be Longlegs, still, probably. But if you're gonna go see a movie for 50 cents like I did, it wouldn't kill you to see.
I got out of the movie around 11 PM and took a stroll through the familiars. There were quite a few dickhead types out and about, but no reason for it to kill my vibe. They were outside of their bars, smoking cigarettes, chatting up with potential mates for the night. Typical Friday night for folks like that, I suppose. The downtown hispsta type. Hell, maybe I am one too. But I like to do my Fridays a little bit differently. I just got out of the new Jude Law flick, and I'm listening to Dying Fetus on my headphones, and I plan on having another slice or so if that new-Apple Pie with my woman when I get in the door. To me, that's one hell of a good Friday night.