Hopefully this review will end me having to talk about it ever again. Again, mostly because I hate saying the same. But also I really didn't like this movie. Fortunately, it isn't the worst movie I have seen this year - I will make sure of that, because I do not want to have to say the name of this movie again, in case somebody asks me. I guess if somebody asks me what the most A24 movie I've seen this year is, I would have to respond with P********A

This Friday night at the Regal on Delancey was actually quite lit, TBH. There was a long line at the concessions, implying that there were a lot of people going to see a specific feature. It didn't seem like it was for P********A, though, which was maybe at like 25% capacity with an 8PM (8:25) showtime. I think a lot of them were going to IMMACULATE, which I saw the week prior, and seems to be having a good run at the box office. I love this kind of energy at the cinema, when there are lines and snacks and people standing in arbitrary spots near the posters and trash cans. I was fortunate to have brought in my favorite Beautiful Nut Mix from any deli in the hideous Dimes Square vintage-clothes-and-outdoor-dining region, plus I had Five Guys with my friend Tiff prior, which is currently my favorite restaraunt of all time, so I was not in need of any concessions.

Oh, P********A? This fucking movie... Another A24 joint!!! Filled with jokes about computer software, jokes about Google, Tilda Swinton asking questions like "What is the cloud, anyways". It reminds me of in the 2010 time period when every funny-ish movie had a joke about Facebook or Twitter. Here, it fills up what seems like half of the dialogue. There is a large subplot about the difficulty of using Filemaker Pro - and this is all played for laughs, bee tee dubs - but there was very little of that happening in the audience.

I was in a closed-caption showing, and at one point in the movie, the subtitles read: [QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING].

P********A follows Alejandro, a 20-something indie-looking guy from El Savador, now living off the Hewes J stop. He struggles to get his work visa squared away while he tries to get a job making toys for Hasbro via cold-e-mail (which, there are themes in the movie hammered here about following dreams, etc. but never does he learn to not send free ideas to mothafuckas you're trying to work for).

For a brief period, he finds work at a cryogenics lab, where his only job is to not unplug a specific plug - which, of course, he does, and he loses his job for it (we are supposed to empathize with this, I think, but it's like the You had one job kind of thing, and to be honest, the actor playing Alejandro is not that good at portraying a foreigner struggling - I mean, maybe he kind of is, as I have encountered this kind of situation a dozen times in the Bushwick area of New York, and I never really liked any of those people, so... I guess it's the most realistic part of the film). On his way out of this job, he meets TILDA SWINTON, played by TILDA SWINTON - I forget her name in the movie but it doesn't matter too much - why would she not be in this movie - anyways, her husband died like 25 years ago and he's one of the guys in the cryogenics thing being frozen. He was an artist, who died, and so, she hires Alejandro as her assistant, and they try to assemble all 13 of his paintings so they can sell it to a gallery or something so they can afford to keep him cryogenically sealed, I guess - and in turn he can get his work visa.

There are weird visuals that we are brought in and out of in the film, specifically when Tilda is yelling at our protagonist, or a gallery owner, or a server at a salad restaraunt - a dreamlike state where our Alejandro is some sort of warrior, and she some kind of demon. I don't know what the fuck, I don''t really care. Swinton is annoying as shit in this, which was intentional, but to the point where I don't want to see her for a long while, at least in this kind of BEAU IS AFRAID type of world where it's like half-fantasy, the other half the-world-is-stupid, A24 fake-sentimental post-woke cynical shit made for Bored Ape types.

And it does feel like it somehow takes place in a more gentrified region of the BEAU IS AFRAID worldmap, I'll give it that. There is something to say about A24 being more than a billion-dollar company, and that it has become a way to describe whatever the hell this kind of shit is. It's all very Saunders-like - but with a Saunders story, I feel good at the end, after feeling shitty for the first 80 percent. In these A24 films, I feel like the world is terrible, and I want to kill myself at the end, or at the very worst, leave the movie early. Which I actually did attempt to do about halfway through this film, but suddenly there was a tiny little subplot with Alejandro selling his body for money, a subplot that exists for like 2 minutes of the duration, creating I guess something relatable for the LGBTQ/Pro-Sex-Work community, and I felt like it was an inappropriate time to leave, because I would have looked like I hated gay people or something. So I waited until about ten minutes before the movie ended to leave.

I guess a techbro (a "creative") may have more to say about this film, because that feels like who it's geared to - it feels like some kind of spec project for somebody to get a job at an agency ("I am a storyteller"). There is no climax in the film because there is nothing at stake, really. He doesn't get his work visa, so he has to move back to El Savador and live with his wonderful mother? Ok.... All this so he can sit around and write down thoughts for funny toys (Cabbage Patch Dolls with iPhones??? OMG!).

The world is inherently stupid, and if you want to get anywhere in life, you will have to deal with shrill women screaming at you, to the point where they become the people closest to you. In America, that is the only way to make it work! It's all about "who you know" - and these people are always going to be the people you would rather not know. And in the meanwhile, instead of working on any real craft, become an "ideasman" - and with this skill, and being able to communicate with annoying artist-types, you will get a job, where you will more than likely realize you didn't spend enough time garnering any skill that's necessary in the workplace.

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