Immaculate

After seeing LATE NIGHT WITH THE DEVIL, I felt a little rejuvinated. I doubt it would make my top 500 movies of all time, but it's cool that original IPs can exist in the movie world and be at least watchable - and this was actually a pretty fun movie. I left Regal at 6:30, not needing to be back until 7:50 (8:15) to see IMMACULATE - a movie that seems to have built some hype, at least according to my TikTok and a handful of guys I have heard reference S. Sweeney in a way that I dare not repeat.

Also worth of note, I have never seen EUPHORIA, so I really don't know who she is. I think I watched two episodes of WHITE LOTUS with my ex-girlfriend, but I didn't care about it. So I really don't know who she is. But the trailers and posters and all that crap looked interesting, so... yeah.

Two movies in a night is a great 4-5 hour time killer for a cold day, especially if alone. It's pretty impressive the marketing ploy that those folks in Hollywood basically peer-pressured people to support BARBIE and OPPENHEIMER in the middle of June. And those aren't short movies, either. The two films tonight were both 90-minutes, give or take.

So, doing some math, financials and time-wise, regarding my solo date-night: $6.50 for Cookie Dough Bites (10% discount for Unlimited users), $0 for popcorn (credits are earned each movie you see - every third or fourth movie I seem to have enough to get a free small popcorn, which is more than enough for two people, TBH), $1 for both movies (there is a $.50 convenience fee, per movie, if you purchase them off your mobile app; I believe if you present your app at the box office and purchase them the day of, in-person, this fee is waved. I shall try this next movie, because a few dollars saved is a few dollars saved), and $4 for the 10 Dumplings at North Dumplings in between movies.

So, I spent under 12 dollars altogether for my date night with myself. Without unlimited, it would be closer to $35. Yes, it is $24 per month, so if you aren't actually planning on seeing movies, it may be in your best interest to stick to Regal Tuesdays. If you are actually about that life, then the Unlimited is where it's at.

North Dumpling is one of those "cutty" spots (cutty, in case you didn't know, if said by a white guy, is code word for a place that isn't run by a white guy) on Essex, across from Seward Park. If you're visiting New York, and you're having some skaters take you around, there's a good chance they'll take you here. Either that, or your friend who moved here less than a year ago will; to seem cool, they bring you here and say things like "This is my favorite place ever" and they act all jazzed and try being too friendly with the staff to try to seem enriched or something. "Thank u bro" "Hey haven't seen you in awhile," they say to the Asian women who work behind the counter NO NEED FOR SMALL TALK LIKE THIS IT HOLDS UP THE LINE AND THESE WOMEN AT THE VERY LEAST DO NOT REMEMBER YOU.

But it is one of the old reliables of the area. 10 dumplings with the 4 dollars in cash I owned, OK, I love that. There are several other places similar in price, but being across from Seward Park makes it the best one.

It's easy to spend all of your money in New York. There's restaraunts and bars and stores and little botiques that sell ceramics and clothes ("archival"). Or you could just go to the store and buy a HAL'S seltzer and a pack of gum and walk around for several hours, which is what I end up doing for 25% of my time awake. Over my span here, I've had a vehicle twice, several bikes, and skateboards with big cruiser wheels. Currently, I don't even have a Citibike pass. In this moment, I have no regrets. I like walking and taking the train. If that could somehow be my full-time job, I would take it. But to some degree, I guess it has.

It was an unseasonably cold late-March day, which I dare to put the unseasonably in quotes, as it is pretty much always shitty here in March, but I think most people are anticipating warmer days at this point in the year, maybe because of the word spring. It hasn't sprung yet, though - fortunately, the winter months were not that harsh, and for me, anecdotally, they were at worst a little boring.

Again, for my own lifestyle, I like it to be boring. Getting excited to see a movie is enough juice to keep me going most of the time.

I returned to Regal at 8PM, this time with a pack of 5 Gum and a Seltzer (which ups my total date budget to $17. For a 5-hour thing, not so bad).

IMMACULATE takes place in some place in Italy at a remote convenant. Our Sydney Sweeney plays Sister Cecilia, a rookie nun, is invited to stay there and take care of veteran nuns for the rest of her life. As a young little kid she almost dies, has an experience with God, believes she was given a Higher Purpose... The vows and everything else... Shortly into her residency, she becomes pregnant (she is a virgin BTW). This makes her a Virgin Mary type, and the older folks in the place are worshipping her and all that shiet, causing tension amongst other younger nuns. We watch her advance through the three trimesters, which are little bookmarks for the three acts of the film.

She begins to discover (quickly, with its 89-minute runtime) a seedy underbelly within the convent. The staff here has a higher purpose for her as well, with some ROSEMARY'S BABY thrown in, which I'm sure if I looked up on google, they would be getting compared to one another rn.

Sweeney is great here. She goes through a ton of hell. She really gets fucked up all to shit!. There is a decent amount of good violence, and blasphemous imagery. The violence is good, gruesome at times, and like the film I saw prior, seems to borrow 70's horror devices some, but here it isn't necessarily in any certain timeframe. A man uses a cell phone once, I think, but otherwise, this could have happened any time in the last 25 years.

I liked both movies I saw, but if I were to recommend to you one of them, I would give it to IMMACULATE. The audience was having a great time, and when a horror movie can deliver laughs at the right times, that's the mark of a good horror. Iono, I don't want to say that much about it. I recommend it! I recommend it. There is finally some stuff out in theaters right now that you should see, if you're into seeing movies. Even if you don't like it, you will have fun, which is the general principle for how I review these things. If you are a trad cath type, you may not like it, or maybe you will? I can never tell if that's a real thing or just an aesthetic thing. Do they still exist? Or was that just a 2021-only type situation. Either way if you're one of those you should put on your big long white socks and little black shoes and go see this.

Augh! What a gangster night at the movies. I went home in a good mood, at 9:30 PM. God bless Regal Unlimited - in times of distress, I go to the Regal app to see if anything has come out. And there are several other movies out right now that I would like to see. To the point where I don't know if I can get to it all. But that's the beauty of it, isn't it?

Home / Reviews