I’m commenting only to vouch for the Juggalos from experience. I have lived in the Missouri area for a long time and I always hated Juggalos because they are randomly all over the place here. But since my first actual interaction with them, I have had only good interactions since. I have kicked it hard as hell with many a Juggalo at this point. Some of them bat shit insane. But at the end of the day they always have your back, and they wouldn’t let you get jumped, and they would always fight for you.

I used to be homeless for like three months when I was eighteen. I had an Acer laptop and a Jansport backpack with peace signs on it. I would spend hours every day at this McDonald’s by the Community College. I’d go there too but McDonald’s was more peaceful. I’d use their Wi-Fi to watch girls play Rihanna songs on ukulele.

A lot of the time there would be these two straight-up juggalo dudes there and they looked like Jay and Silent Bob in shape but with face paint. Once again, at this point i thought that shit was so fucking stupid. And it was at the height of hating on them, like probably within a year of that song about Magnets. And everyone was ranting and raving about how stupid they were. And people would write these articles about the Gathering and it was all so convincing at the time. So we all just like the world basically hated Juggalos.

I liked the song The Neder Game, Hokus Pokus, and the theme song for the Oddities from the WWF Attitude days. Besides that I had little opinion on the Insane Clown Posse. May write separate thoughts about ICP the group themselves at another time.

But yeah, I was hating juggalos while I was homeless. And I would just see these two guys one fat one skinny in face paint most of the time but not every single time. And they just had this demeanor that annoyed me so bad but they were always cool to me. Like they’d say what’s up to me, and a lot of the times they’d be standing outside of the front door and everything just like Jay and Silent Bob. And when I’d walk up with my laptop one of them’d open the door for me. And just little kind things.

They would be inside of the lobby or eating French fries some of the time, but generally they were nearer the parking lot. I don’t think they were even not allowed inside, but they just seemed to like the outside more. And not even really at those little patios they awkwardly put in the back with like three purple rubbery picnic tables.

Even with all that I still just found them so annoying, so stupid, for some reason. But why??????? I knew deep inside that I had no reason to. I was like, ICP: Music is OK, hate the fans. Like how people were with the Dead back in the day.

The more Silent Bob-ish one always had on this black Simpsons t-shirt that had all the characters from like the whole series on the front and he would wear high top chuck taylor’s which can make a fatman look even fatter if his calves aren’t proportioned correctly with his ankles. But he would always hold the door and like nod over to me if they were coming inside to take a shit or charge an MP3 player.

Personality-wise there wasn’t all that much to even really say about them, to be honest. Like they were just some loud mouths, or the tall one was. And the silent bob kind of guy wasn’t silent, but was definitely on the quieter side, at least when I’d hear them talk and it’d always be about something about MSN Messenger or emulating old video games. It was cooler stuff than I assumed, but still talked about it in loudmouth-talk.

On this one day in August a storm was rolling in fast as a bastard. And I fortunately got into McDonald’s before it got bad, like the humid air just became not there at all. And the sky green, etc. And like the cold winds. Just felt like a tornado coming.

and this was like 10 in the morning so it smelled amazingly great in there cause of MCGRIDDLES!!! But that’s just a side thought. But I was sitting at a table and it’s pouring like hell out there and the two Juggalo fuckheads who I sort of like for some reason come in. And the taller ones long braids are sopping wet and dripping like when you wring a wet towel. And the face paint of both was dripping and it began to look like a Rorschach, or like Rorschach, the superhero. I thought they looked so stupid but a part of me believed that I actually thought it was kind of damn cool. They didn’t order anything and just sat at a table drying off their MP3 players with their t-shirts and wiping their face paint off with brown paper towels.

The storm died down and a tornado didn’t come or anything but it was a bad enough storm that after it calmed, everyone from inside of Ronald’s crib stepped outside to observe the damage or maybe just feel blessed for surviving such a wicked disturbance.

I was on the sidewalk near the drive-thru and the Juggalos came out too and they stood next to me and we made damn-like remarks at some trees and garbage cans that got knocked over. The color of the sky after a Missouri evening storm is just… Wow. So orange, these heavy clouds that moments ago seemed to be seeking war with us the people? And now they seemed to be retreating? Maybe we the earth have defeated the great universal storm once again. That’s how I looked at it as a kid, hah, but not anymore. Still cool to think about.

Jay asked if I wanted a cigarette. Silent Bob somehow asked if I had one.

A small Chevy S-10 pulled near us which is redundant but this one seemed particularly small. And there are three guys in there with cowboy hats. On.

The one closest to us is the driver. He yells out at me and says Nice Hat Ya Fuckin’ Retard! And I know he was directing this at me because my hat was pretty dumb, not gonna lie.

The Jay type who is like 10 feet away from this truck just starts walking up to it which is rolling slowly into the drive-thru. And he’s walking like a 12-year-old white kid who just like got into rap. Like real stiff-legged and his arms at his side. And he’s going What The Fuck Did You Say About My Boy? And Silent Bob is walking close behind and they get next to the truck and just start kicking the shit out of the side of it! And these guys were yelling all this shit now at the juggalo guys while the S-10 was just getting kicked to shit, oh my god, unbelievable!!! They reverse up and screech out of there too scared to get out I guess?

The fat one looked at me and was like, Damn, Those Guys Were Idiots.

I hope that in heaven, God gives us the ability, or rather, has some sort of technology that lets us look at every single moment from our lifetime. Like a camera that has every memory I deserve to see for being a good person. I would love to have a screenshot of us standing under that golden sky at McDonald’s. I will be a good person for the rest of my life if it means I can one day see this again.