This is the most recent awkward moment I had, just to add to your whole thing.

I was on the train the other day, it was today actually, earlier, specifically. And I was standing on the, well I was standing outside of the train. Like I was standing and waiting for one to come and show up, so I was standing outside of where I figured there would at some point be a train.

And to my right was this guy standing there, similar to how I was. Not that he was copying me or anything. He was a less fair-skinned guy, but I dunno. Dark…Er. But not easy to tell exactly. I don’t just want to guess what he was. He was wearing Levi’s 511’s, or maybe 12’s. I forget which one the skinny is, maybe both? He had them on. And his was wearing a red Che Guevara t-shirt. And I thought to myself, damn, it’s been a hell of a minute since I seen one of those. So then, I said,

-Hey man! Dude it’s been a MINUTE since I saw one of those shirts out!

And then he kind of just smiled at me. He tugged at the middle of his shirt, I guess to note that I was eyeballing it. I was also flaccidly pointing at it while I spoke.

I could feel that he was really wanting to say,

-Thanks man! Yeah, I know. I’ve been rocking it for years, pal!

I believe he would say something like that, but he seemed to be from another place, linguistic-wise, you know all about what I’m saying.

So he didn’t say anything back at all. It was just really damn awkward. And I literally asked him this question:

-Is it something, is the shirt, the shirt, the SHIRT, yeah! Is the shirt something you’ve been rocking for a long while or is it? Yeah, yeah!

Damn, I thought, I really don’t know what I even want from this guy. I just was talking over him and he was acknowledging the things I was saying and saying things himself but neither of us were doing very well at all. Man, it really fuckin’ sucked! But that isn’t even the awkward part (so you know it’s awkward what’s coming!)!!!

So we’re just like pulling and pointing at his shirt and we’re both talking at eachother in this gentle but firm tone that strangers put on for one another. And it keeps going, and the train doors open, cause it showed up, believe it or not. And it’s a busy ass Wednesday, randomly enough. So me and this Che Guevara shirt guy get on it together. No open seats, obviously, so we’re standing together on one end of the thing. Very close. Like I said, busy damn Wednesday!

And then before the train even starts, we both look over at this guy a foot away from us and he, too, is wearing the same Che shirt. The same damn Che Guevara shirt, I thought, what the fuck? This guy was Chinese, actually, for sure (I’m part-Japanese btw).

-Yo!

The Chinese guy was the one who said Yo. He said it in an American way. And he pointed at the first guy’s shirt. Which is acknowledged, so he scoots even closer to us. The Chinese guy says,

-You like Che Guevara, too?

And first guy did the same thing he did to me, just like looked at him happily and just acted cute. They’re having the same interaction we had earlier. But I am now replaced with a guy in the same shirt as he.

Then the first one brought me into their pointless conversation and was like, I could tell he was trying to be a translator for some reason. Which makes no sense, but somehow I know that’s how it looked. This non-English speaking goofball translating to two separate Asian fractions who both speak English. And then I’m explaining to the Chinese guy that I understand what he’s saying, and he was saying that I was just complimenting his shirt. And then he asks me if I like Che. And I’m really just like, I don’t know really. Just been a minute since I saw that shirt, and felt social.

-You don’t know who he is?

-No, I do, I just don’t know what exactly he did. But I just remember people wore that shirt a lot at one point, I don’t know if that makes sense.

-Yeah I don’t know about things like that but I just have it because I believe in the cause.

And then I asked him what the cause was exactly, like I asked specifically, cause I really don’t know about Che Guevara in a real way. I was a young kid when people were wearing those shirts, I just know him as the shirt guy. Meanwhile the foreign-language guy was translating for us, still.

There was this blue motherfucker on the train too, blue! Not lying. When’s the last time you seen a blue motherfucker on the train! He took a photo or video of us three talking together, me and the Che Guevara fans. And the first fan, the foreign one, got super heated about this, like once he saw the blue dude he got so hot, just fuckin’ pissed, specifically at the camera.

-No Photographia!

He said it a few times, the first words that translated. He was clear in that he wanted no photographias of him.

And then! Next thing you know it, my foreign friend steps towards this blue motherfucker in this crowded train (blue was sitting in a seat) and he snatched his phone from out of his blue hand and like threw it straight up ten feet (straight up in the cool sense, not in the vertical sense). It landed on the ground, missing the heads of many jerks just standing there not paying attention. The throw was also noticeably short-distance for how hard it looked like he threw it. That made me just about bust a gut later on at home thinking about. I mentally photoshopped gif of him throwing the first pitch at a Yankees game, and it not making it to the batter.

Blue gets the hell right up, having to push people out of his way just to get space to stand.

-And what’s he gonna do, anyways?

is what I always think when I see somebody throw another person’s phone. Cause what do you, grab the phone first, or go kick this guy’s ass, and then grab the phone?

He gets right up in my foreign guy’s face, and points right in his face, and goes,

-FUCK. YOU.

I don’t know why, but the delivery just killed me. So I'm laughing, which probably looked rude as hell.

What the fuck does the blue man do next? He takes that finger that he still had stuck out at the foreign guy, and while I’m still laughing, he sticks it right in my mouth. And I really make that sound that you make if you’re like gagging on a hot dog. GUUUHH.

What the? This annoyed me fucking bad. And I just left the group, walking out of the circle, thinking fuck all you guys! I resigned to a slightly different spot, so I didn’t have to be near them anymore. I was completely tired of playing with them.

They continue fighting, like pushing eachother, and then punches get thrown, and I’m just watching with my arms crossed in a grumpy fashion, watching from the corner. People are yelling to stop and people are getting pushed on that don’t want to be. The Chinese dude gets a few swings in there, too, for whatever reason. I guess he just wanted to stand up for his fellow Che fanatic. And everybody’s freaking out around them. It just looked so dumb, all these shitheads pleading with the Che Guevara shirt guys to stop fighting with the blue dude!

I guess in retrospect it wasn’t THAT awkward, but damn, it was cool. The beginning was a little awkward, but then it just got funny.